Taking action . . .

Abuse.

Such a small word to harbor such complexity. It is not cut and dry. There are many levels, many degrees to abuse and how someone survives it.

It will always affect you. It will always be a part of you. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Many have grown strength from that. It becomes a tool for them to help them not to fall back into the same pattern.

Sometimes though, the pattern is different than the one you are used to and so you don't see the abuse. It may take noticing your own pattern of behavior before you catch it and stand up for yourself.

When I wrote The Lost & Found Series, it was supposed to be one book of many. It was supposed to be about a single Mom running a Bed & Breakfast and the friendships she formed over her love of Scrapbooking. It was supposed to be PG. It was supposed to be lighthearted and funny. It did end up being most of those things except for PG (A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste!). Though there are a lot of moments that are lighthearted, I wouldn't consider it that type of read.

A story unfolded that I wasn't expecting. A subject got touched that I had no pre-meditated plans of touching. A subject that hits very close to home for me.

Since the completion of this trilogy, it has been read by quite a few people for honest feedback. Though it is not the main focus of the story, the subject of abuse does come up. The way my characters handled themselves has been questioned by some of the readers.

I understood their argument. Why would anyone put up with that especially after what they had been through? "It's unbelievable." Yes. I can think of many times I said that same sentence when I saw someone I loved struggle for their strength.

I decided to then ask one of my readers who did not question my character's behavior. She said she didn't find anything unnatural or unbelievable about the behavior. She found it relatable. She is a survivor of an abusive relationship.

To be fair, one of the first readers to question the behavior is a friend of mine. After our discussion she realized the behavior was actually pretty close to what she grew up with.

It's so easy for all of us to say "I wouldn't do that or I wouldn't let that happen". But abuse wears many different hats on its ugly head. It's confusing, it's degrading and it's scary. Though there are many similarities between cases of abuse, not everyone handles it the same way.

Then it really hit me. Not everyone is going to handle this subject in my book the same way. Sometimes I forget that not everyone delves into psychology and behavior patterns like I do. I can't change the way I write though. I want to know what makes my character "tick". What are they thinking? Why are they behaving that way? People, in general, are so interesting and so complex.

More importantly, I realized, I started a conversation.

I've decided that I don't want to just start a conversation, I want to do something about the topic of this conversation.

I got contact info from my Yoga instructor who does "Yoga for a Cause" twice a year for Emily's Place. It's a local shelter for abused women and children. It is a product of the YWCA and is funded by donations. The YWCA have shelters like this all over the country. The help they give these women do not just stop at housing. They get them back on their feet. They give them the power back that didn't realize they could have.

I want to help them do that. In saying that . . .

10% of all proceeds from Goodbye Caution will go to the ywca.org, indefinitely.

We all have been affected by abuse whether personally or watching someone we love. If you'd like to join me in my efforts, please go to www.ywca.org to donate or see how you can help.

Thank you!

XO Jacquelyn